Hyperbole

I swear I have a third nipple.

No lie. It's either a third nipple or a mosquito keeps biting me in the exact same damn place. I personally find it easier to believe that I have Polythelia than to believe that a series of blood-sucking insects are able to repeatedly land and slurp from the same spot below my right useless man nipple. I suppose the only thing that detracts me from this theory is that it only lies approximately one inch from the bottom of the real deal.

All I do know is that it hurts like hell. I was exiting the shower after my early afternoon de-funk-ification, and as I began to towel off in my usually refined pattern, I rubbed over the area in question with my towel. Like I have alluded to, this is not the first time I've noticed the problem. I would venture to say this is at least the third time my polythelia has flared up.

I guess I'll rummage around for some Neosporin or something. Maybe that'll disappear the little bugger for a while. Not that I want it to go away, I just prefer for it not to itch, burn, sting or throb whenever I dry off after showering.

In other news, searching for a job sucks.

Well, I'm off to find something constructive to do, like get a doctor's appointment or a sandwich.