I'm Ready For Some Football

I've been steadily digesting a healthy diet of sports over the last week that I've been home from "touring". It's been an impressive run of college football (GEAUX TIGERS!), pre-season NFL, the pennant races of Major League Baseball, and sadly......the WNBA.

I swear, I only watched the game tonight because I was told by two lesbians that it was the Title-clinching game. But Detroit evened the series with Sacramento in the best of 5 series. And now I'm not really sure what those lesbians were talking about when they mentioned the Title-clinching game........is that like a "Strawberry Shortcake"?

Anyway......College Football is absolutely in FULL swing. Corey and I attended a gathering of LSU alums at a restaurant in Cary, NC last weekend to watch LSU beat the hell out of U-la-la. I guess we're gonna do the same this weekend for the game against Arizona.

But on to more important matters......

You know who has the worst job in Football?

That's right.......the Back Judge. The Back Judge is an official with the job of standing at the very end of the field in the direction the play is headed. He is usually the guy that calls pass interference or defensive holding. He also spends most of the game staring at the asses of football players. However, that is not the worst part of his job.

This is:

Your boy has to wander around the field all day long with the letters "BJ" tagged onto his zebra suit. Drag. How bad can life be for this guy? BAD! Think about the people you know that have been to a college or professional football game. Or perhaps, you've been to a game yourself? Hearken back to your experiences at said games. Do you remember the alcohol intake before and/or during the game? Then again, if it was like any of the games I went to, you don't remember much of anything. All I know is that the maturity level of the whole crowd usually dips slightly after a healthy amount of tailgating, thus lending to an atmosphere normally associated with middle school boys.

I'm sure Back Judges get more than their share of hell all over the nation. So the next time you see one of these poor saps, be sure to encourage him in his chosen profession with these words of encouragement:

"HEY BACK JUDGE!!! GET OFF YOUR KNEES, YOU'RE BLOWING THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"