Thursday, December 8, 2005

Dude Looks Like a Lady

So before I begin to bitch about how god-awful cold it is here, I wanted to tell you all about a few other things.

Last week, I got a call from my friend Mark Partlow. Mark is a guy I've known for at least 7 or 8 years now and he is a super cool guy and a great guitar player. He and his wife Tish, who also happens to be super cool, were in New York to see another friend of theirs who dances on "Broadway". So Saturday night I head down to the part of Manhattan know as Chelsea. It's kind of on the west side of the lower third of the island. I end up meeting Mark and Tish at a bar called the Viceroy. It's a cool little place that has almost an old diner vibe to it, that has been transformed into a bar.

So we're having our drinks and enjoying a conversation. I met their friend Trey, who had just finished a performance in "Moving Out" (the musical with Billy Joel songs). Soon enough, the DJ, who had been spinning some old R&B tunes, announces that the "Candace Cane Show" is about to begin. Everyone turns their attention toward a spotlight pointing to the back of the club.

A really terrible song begins to play and a woman dressed in a see through black dress and bra and thong begins to lustfully wander toward the stage while singing along with the awful pre-recorded track.

As I crane my neck to observe the spectacle at the front of the bar, I notice first that this chick has a massive set of fake breasts. I'm not talking Pam Anderson-huge.....but big enough to catch a person's eye for a moment or so. As I begin to glance up I notice a pronounced adam's apple and strongly chiseled jaw bone. I was able to process pretty quickly that I was taking in my first ever transvestite drag-queen show.

It was shortly after I was finished processing this equipment that the following realization hit me (I'll guide you through exactly what popped into my brain):

I'm at a drag show.
I'm at a drag show with Mark Partlow.
Mark Partlow plays guitar.
Mark Partlow played guitar in a band with my old youth leader.
I know Mark Partlow through my old youth leader.
I know Mark Partlow through church.
I'm at a drag show with Mark Partlow.

It was incredibly surreal to be standing next to this guy while watching what ended up to be a pretty funny show! Candace was incredibly funny and had the ability to keep balance in these really tall, skinny heels while doing twirls and kicks. Even though it was about 25 degrees outside at the time, she used her entire surroundings, meaning she would walk outside of the bar and dance in the street and on the sidewalk and interview passers-by.

I ended up having a blast and to capitalize on the surreal nature of the evening, Mark and Tish and I had our picture taken with Candace......which I hope to put up as soon as Mark emails me the photo.

On to less hilarious fodder......

Goddamn it's COLD!!!!!!
I seriously am freezing to death.
It got really really cold, really really quickly!
Last monday it was like 65 degrees. Today it was 34 degrees.
The cool part is that it has snowed a few evenings and is supposed to snow three inches tonight. The uncool part is that the wind is blowing sometimes close to 25 mph, which is BRUTAL!

Two more news snippets before I leave you to ponder your life.
-Mixing is finished for my record! I hope to have it mastered and manufactured incredibly soon!
-I'm coming home in twelve days!