So earlier today, I was pickin' my nose.....and I yanked out a glorious piece of booger-art.
I swear to God, this thing looked like a lamb-chop.
Unfreakin' real!
I was gonna take a picture of it, but I don't have a digital camera......so I just flicked it behind the couch along with the other lost treasures from the Mines de Nostril.
I seriously overdid it last night. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Shots are the bane of my existence!
Not to mention the crapload of beer that I steadily funneled down my gullet all night long.
It's good to be home. Seeing people I haven't seen in months. Having these people buy me alcoholic beverages. Then having other people drive me home. It's good to be the King.
Now, if only I could walk. I busted my ankle last week, playing Ultimate Frisbee with David. It's getting better, but it looks like hell......and it's no peach to stand on either!
I was gonna take pictures of that too and show you all the bruises that travel all the way to my knee......but, alas, we've previously discussed my lack-of-camera conundrum.
So, now it's off to watch movies.....keeping a low profile this evening in preparation for Thursday's debauchery!
Rock on. Holla atcha boy!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Garden State 2: The Escape From New Brunswick
Amazing weekend! Straight up awesome!
Here's tha dilly.......
My favorite band in the whole wide world, Toad the Wet Sprocket, has reunited for a summer tour. Having found this out, my homeboy Brandon decides to make a most excellent adventure to see the band in New Jersey. The gig is at Starland Ballroom on June 4th. So B makes his flight to come into the Newark, NJ airport late late on Saturday night. My job was to hop on a train and meet him at the aeropuerto at close to midnight.
Unbeknownst to B and myself, the Newark Airport is the screwiest place on earth......or so we thought.And, like a jackass, I totally missed my stop on the train anyway, so I had to ride to the next stop and then wait for a train to come back in the opposite direction. I talked to Brandon several times after he landed and while I was waiting for the train back to the airport. I even suggested that he should go ahead and pick up the rental car and pick me up from the train station I was waiting at.
Skipping a few unimportant details, I end up at Newark to see Brandon and a BRIGHT YELLOW 2006 Ford Mustang. Initially I was embarrassed to hop into such a gaudy car, but as will later be evidenced, this car would be our Godsend.
Now, Brandon is unbelievably prepared for this trip. He has maps, driving directions, tickets, parking, motel, hot spots, and destinations all totally scouted out and arranged. I, for one, was thoroughly impressed. As we find our way out of the parking garage and later the airport, I assume my job as navigator for our neon yellow spacecraft. In my defense, I have a stellar record as navigator for millions of roadtrips into undiscovered countries, like Kansas and North Carolina. I wholeheartedly blame all things that went wrong on the urban planners in the state of New Jersey. The streets are bonkers (for lack of a better word). There seems to be no way to make a (legal) left turn in the entire state.
We end up taking a poorly marked exit ramp that placed us deep into the heart of downtown Elizabeth, NJ. Without the aide of a GPS locator or a very detailed map (since we were there by accident, B had no map for this situation). We pass by the train station that I was waiting at (so Brandon totally could have picked me up) and make our way back to the interstate. Our first destination is a bar in New Brunswick. Brandon, being the stately beer connosieur that he is, found this place on the internet and they are regarded for their beer selection. Sadly, this idea bombs terribly. We wander in to a bar that is filled with over-dressed ladies and under-dressed gentlemen (yours truly included). There was a band playing that was confused about whether to rip off their sound from Phish or Matchbox 20 (not a good combination). And sadly the beer selection was not what Brandon had planned on. We guzzle our beers and decide to try and book it to a convienience store to grab a sixer and go to the motel.
Oh, right......because New Jersey suuuuuuucks, you can't buy beer in a convienience store. So its off to our suite (read: room with no view) at the Motel 6. Granted, we had to make three or four illegal left turns and one drive down a DO NOT ENTER lane, in order to make it to the "Sixer".
One, two, skip a lot......we get to our hotel.........shoot the breeze.....watch Sportscenter........sack out.
After rolling out of bed at around 11am on Sunday morning, B and I decide that some food would be an excellent way to start the day. We end up at McDonald's (mistake number 37 for those of you scoring at home). I'm going to take a moment away from the jokes for a second. I like to make you laugh, but I'm being dead serious. The employees at this McD's were hands-down the dumbest bunch of morons in history. I actually think that the kid who struggled through his attempt to take my order was retarded. I know that I bust on midgets and retards way too much, but Brandon can vouch for me here......this kid had no brain function.
Here is a summation of our conversation:
"Hi. Welcome. Welcome. Ummmmmm. Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take...., er, serve you?"
".......sure. Lemme get a number 4, no onions, and can I get and iced coffee instead of a soda?"
.....the kid then punches buttons for a solid minute.......
"Do you want fries, mister?"
"Yeah, I want the combo meal.....or whatever you call it here."
"And you want a large coffee?"
"No. I want an iced coffee instead of a soda."
"You mean with your meal? Instead of a soda?"
(shocked!!!!) "Yes. I think you've got it."
The kid wanders off, and stands in the middle of the workspace behind the counter. I don't know if his brain just shut off, but he spaced for a good minute. I eventually end up with a burger, small fries, and a GIANT iced coffee with most of the creamer on the side of the cup, because the kid obviously had no clue how to used the fountain system.
We finally sit down to eat, Brandon having had an equally ridiculous time ordered his breakfast/lunch. As I finish preparing to eat (taking my insulin shot), B has already finished eating.
Fast forward to Brandon and I driving around East Brunswick, searching for a high end wine and spirits store. Brandon loads up on big bottles of hearty, hoppy beers from companies that aren't distributed in LA. We also grab a couple of six packs, a styrofoam cooler box and two bags of ice. We head back to the Motel 6, turn on the Mets game on TV and start drinking.
At around 5, we decide to head to the venue, and maybe catch another bite to eat. We zoom past the venue on a search for some food, and settle on a Philipino Buffet. Most of the food was fantastic and the owner/cook/cashier lady kept trying to make us fill up another plate. The best thing on the menu was this chicken breast stuffed with spinach and cheese and covered in a very buttery/creamy sauce......AWESOME!
I'm realizing that I'm trying to cover every exciting event in this story and its becoming very very longwinded.......well, suck it up.
We get to the Toad show. They rock my face off! The show itself was reasonably uneventful and there is probably someone much more qualified to review this show. I had a blast. B and I got right in front. Pressed against the railing in front of Todd Nichols (the guitar player).
We leave the show at around 11:10pm and head straight to the Motel, where the rest of our six packs (eight beers left) and two Arrogant Bastard Ales are chilled and ready for consumption. We don't go to bed until 2:30 or 3am. Both Brandon and I had 7am flights departing from Newark Airport (which is 30 minutes away from our Motel room). We request a wake up call from the front desk for 4:15am and I set my cell phone alarm for 5 minutes after that. The plan is to wake, shower, haul to the airport and have plenty of time to stroll to our respective planes.
Again......the best laid plans.....
I am woken by a not-so-graceful love-tap on the shoulder from the Amazing Brand-O. It is now 5:37am and we have not ripped ourselves from the sweet slumber of all-night drinking. We both hurredly sweep all of our belongings into the bags we packed and run out of the door. Here is where the Yellow Mustang becomes worth the mention. We have a 30 minute drive and only 15 minutes to be there.
Brandon wins the Awesome Driver award.
115mph. Arrived at Newark a few moments past 6am.
I'm in North Carolina for a few days, then back to BR for some much needed home time!
Here's tha dilly.......
My favorite band in the whole wide world, Toad the Wet Sprocket, has reunited for a summer tour. Having found this out, my homeboy Brandon decides to make a most excellent adventure to see the band in New Jersey. The gig is at Starland Ballroom on June 4th. So B makes his flight to come into the Newark, NJ airport late late on Saturday night. My job was to hop on a train and meet him at the aeropuerto at close to midnight.
Unbeknownst to B and myself, the Newark Airport is the screwiest place on earth......or so we thought.And, like a jackass, I totally missed my stop on the train anyway, so I had to ride to the next stop and then wait for a train to come back in the opposite direction. I talked to Brandon several times after he landed and while I was waiting for the train back to the airport. I even suggested that he should go ahead and pick up the rental car and pick me up from the train station I was waiting at.
Skipping a few unimportant details, I end up at Newark to see Brandon and a BRIGHT YELLOW 2006 Ford Mustang. Initially I was embarrassed to hop into such a gaudy car, but as will later be evidenced, this car would be our Godsend.
Now, Brandon is unbelievably prepared for this trip. He has maps, driving directions, tickets, parking, motel, hot spots, and destinations all totally scouted out and arranged. I, for one, was thoroughly impressed. As we find our way out of the parking garage and later the airport, I assume my job as navigator for our neon yellow spacecraft. In my defense, I have a stellar record as navigator for millions of roadtrips into undiscovered countries, like Kansas and North Carolina. I wholeheartedly blame all things that went wrong on the urban planners in the state of New Jersey. The streets are bonkers (for lack of a better word). There seems to be no way to make a (legal) left turn in the entire state.
We end up taking a poorly marked exit ramp that placed us deep into the heart of downtown Elizabeth, NJ. Without the aide of a GPS locator or a very detailed map (since we were there by accident, B had no map for this situation). We pass by the train station that I was waiting at (so Brandon totally could have picked me up) and make our way back to the interstate. Our first destination is a bar in New Brunswick. Brandon, being the stately beer connosieur that he is, found this place on the internet and they are regarded for their beer selection. Sadly, this idea bombs terribly. We wander in to a bar that is filled with over-dressed ladies and under-dressed gentlemen (yours truly included). There was a band playing that was confused about whether to rip off their sound from Phish or Matchbox 20 (not a good combination). And sadly the beer selection was not what Brandon had planned on. We guzzle our beers and decide to try and book it to a convienience store to grab a sixer and go to the motel.
Oh, right......because New Jersey suuuuuuucks, you can't buy beer in a convienience store. So its off to our suite (read: room with no view) at the Motel 6. Granted, we had to make three or four illegal left turns and one drive down a DO NOT ENTER lane, in order to make it to the "Sixer".
One, two, skip a lot......we get to our hotel.........shoot the breeze.....watch Sportscenter........sack out.
After rolling out of bed at around 11am on Sunday morning, B and I decide that some food would be an excellent way to start the day. We end up at McDonald's (mistake number 37 for those of you scoring at home). I'm going to take a moment away from the jokes for a second. I like to make you laugh, but I'm being dead serious. The employees at this McD's were hands-down the dumbest bunch of morons in history. I actually think that the kid who struggled through his attempt to take my order was retarded. I know that I bust on midgets and retards way too much, but Brandon can vouch for me here......this kid had no brain function.
Here is a summation of our conversation:
"Hi. Welcome. Welcome. Ummmmmm. Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take...., er, serve you?"
".......sure. Lemme get a number 4, no onions, and can I get and iced coffee instead of a soda?"
.....the kid then punches buttons for a solid minute.......
"Do you want fries, mister?"
"Yeah, I want the combo meal.....or whatever you call it here."
"And you want a large coffee?"
"No. I want an iced coffee instead of a soda."
"You mean with your meal? Instead of a soda?"
(shocked!!!!) "Yes. I think you've got it."
The kid wanders off, and stands in the middle of the workspace behind the counter. I don't know if his brain just shut off, but he spaced for a good minute. I eventually end up with a burger, small fries, and a GIANT iced coffee with most of the creamer on the side of the cup, because the kid obviously had no clue how to used the fountain system.
We finally sit down to eat, Brandon having had an equally ridiculous time ordered his breakfast/lunch. As I finish preparing to eat (taking my insulin shot), B has already finished eating.
Fast forward to Brandon and I driving around East Brunswick, searching for a high end wine and spirits store. Brandon loads up on big bottles of hearty, hoppy beers from companies that aren't distributed in LA. We also grab a couple of six packs, a styrofoam cooler box and two bags of ice. We head back to the Motel 6, turn on the Mets game on TV and start drinking.
At around 5, we decide to head to the venue, and maybe catch another bite to eat. We zoom past the venue on a search for some food, and settle on a Philipino Buffet. Most of the food was fantastic and the owner/cook/cashier lady kept trying to make us fill up another plate. The best thing on the menu was this chicken breast stuffed with spinach and cheese and covered in a very buttery/creamy sauce......AWESOME!
I'm realizing that I'm trying to cover every exciting event in this story and its becoming very very longwinded.......well, suck it up.
We get to the Toad show. They rock my face off! The show itself was reasonably uneventful and there is probably someone much more qualified to review this show. I had a blast. B and I got right in front. Pressed against the railing in front of Todd Nichols (the guitar player).
We leave the show at around 11:10pm and head straight to the Motel, where the rest of our six packs (eight beers left) and two Arrogant Bastard Ales are chilled and ready for consumption. We don't go to bed until 2:30 or 3am. Both Brandon and I had 7am flights departing from Newark Airport (which is 30 minutes away from our Motel room). We request a wake up call from the front desk for 4:15am and I set my cell phone alarm for 5 minutes after that. The plan is to wake, shower, haul to the airport and have plenty of time to stroll to our respective planes.
Again......the best laid plans.....
I am woken by a not-so-graceful love-tap on the shoulder from the Amazing Brand-O. It is now 5:37am and we have not ripped ourselves from the sweet slumber of all-night drinking. We both hurredly sweep all of our belongings into the bags we packed and run out of the door. Here is where the Yellow Mustang becomes worth the mention. We have a 30 minute drive and only 15 minutes to be there.
Brandon wins the Awesome Driver award.
115mph. Arrived at Newark a few moments past 6am.
I'm in North Carolina for a few days, then back to BR for some much needed home time!
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