Facial Hair and You!

Hello kiddies.

Do you remember those old kid's games with a goofy, almost clown-ish face encased in plastic with small, magnetized particles that you could move around into shapes on the poor sap's dome?

No?

How about now.....Wooly Willy!!!

Ok.....so here's where you come in.

I'm lazy.               Shocking revelation, I know.

As previously mentioned, for Halloween, I shaved my previously grown facial scruff into a kick-ass "HELL YEAH!" beard. And although I'm still waiting to be able to bring you all the most-excellent picture of said beard....I (again) have laxed into a period of 'in-between-ness'. My scruff is going on 8 days old and I have yet to decide what pattern it needs to take for the next few weeks. So, I figured it'd be fun(ny) to see who actually pays any attention to me at all and what he or she has to say about my scruff.

So take a look at the options below and decide what hair makes the cut........I'll pause for a moment and allow you to laugh your collective asses off at my hilariously intended pun.

.

.

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You good? Rock.

Choice A. (the standard "A Chris in Winter")

Choice B. (the "Tuxedo")

Choice C. (the "Chops & Dot")

Choice D. (the "Imperial")

 

Okay. So there it is. The one with the most votes wins and will be shaven.....unless I think it's stupid by the time I decide to crack out the razor. Just for giggles, let's say voting ends by Wednesday.....evening.

Cereal For Dinner

Friday night. Awesome! I can't wait until [insert fun activity] starts!

Ok, so I'm sitting on my ass watching television and eating cereal for dinner.

Granted, "Cereal for Dinner" is not as creative (or thought-provoking) a title as Toothpaste For Dinner, but it's pretty much the only food we've got around here. It is way too cold for me to go wandering after some grub by myself.

Corey's got shit to do tonight, so I figured I'd go see a movie. I paired my choices down to "Running With Scissors" and "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan". But I'm a fucking moron and got the times mixed up. I'm glad I checked before I left. I decided that I'd go see "Running With Scissors" at 10:35pm. Except that it started at 10:00pm. Borat was at 10:35. Crap.

Ok. No problem. I've got a couple DVDs to watch. Oh, plus there's some College Football on.....Air Force @ Army. Ouch....blowout in the first quarter. Nevermind. Oooooh! Video Games!!!!! But wait, I'm hungry.

What to eat? What to eat? What to eat?

How about a peanut butter sandwich......for the 1,010,981,234,712,479,571,647,342,342,640,576,638,222,305,747,649,563,938,127,357,483rd time (That's a lot of bread). Nah.

Ok, ok. I'll have cereal. What tha....? How is it that a 21 ounce box (595g for our friends on the metric system) that is clearly, if not absurdly, labeled "FAMILY SIZE", is almost empty. The same box that I bought at the grocery store yesterday. How is it that a pound + of cereal that is packaged to feed an entire family only lasts me four or five bowls (depending on whether or not I feel like eating the grainy remnants at the bottom of the plastic bag)?

So I'm finished inhaling my Honey Bunches of Oats. Now I'm on to dessert......beer. You should have seen the look that the old bag in front of me in line at the grocery gave me when I plopped my loot onto the conveyor belt. Cereal, Milk, 12pk of Bass, and Shampoo. As if that crunchy old broad buying Donut Holes and Fixodent was totally normal.

I'm slightly wary of drinking alone. I feel bad before I pop the cap off the first bottle......a feeling that secedes rapidly after three or four sips......and completely disappears after three or four bottles.

I still have no idea what to do with the rest of my evening.