Movie Reviews

Note to self:
When living in a large city, with virtually no friends, do not go see a movie alone on a thursday night. Especially a movie regarding weddings.

To the Amazing Brand-O, I have no clue how you can do it. I remember when we lived together you used to go see movies by yourself all the time. For God's sake, man, that has to be the most depressing activity in the world. Well, maybe not. Perhaps burying your dead kitten might be more depressing......but it's close.

My sister had a "date" tonight. So for some reason, since the guy was coming over to pick her up, I had to disappear. I thought to myself that I'd just wander down the street, grab some food, hop the train down to my local cineplex, and catch a movie. It subsequently dawned on me that I would be involved in all of the afforementioned activities alone. Not thinking anything of it, I decided to pop into a sandwich shop and sat down to a decent sized meal. One startling revelation is that "Diet" Snapple still has sugar in it. What the hell? That does me (being a diabetic) no good at all.

So after my grabbing of food, I did in fact hop the train that I mentioned I would. I'm used to riding the train alone, so there is really no anecdotal rambling to introduce at this point in the story.

I arrived at the movie theater at about 8:30pm and couldn't decide what to see. I've seen "Batman Begins" (very good), "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (decent), and Star Wars: Episode 3 (twice....i know, i'm slacking). "Fantastic Four" had just started and wouldn't play again until 10:30pm. "Wedding Crashers" previews have looked funny on TV, plus Vince Vaughn is funny and I've like Owen Wilson in all of the Wes Anderson movies. I shuffled my feet up to the ticket counter and forked over my $10.75 for the 9:00pm feature.

As the theatre began to fill up slowly, I realized my first mistake in my first attempt at solo movie watching: I picked the super-ultra-mega WRONG night to see a movie alone. Thursday is apparently "take a date to the movies" night here in Manhattan. I think I saw a four year old walk in with a hot girl on his arm. No really, they were making out later too!

The movie was funny, but somehow got all serious at the end, which was a buzzkill. As I left the theatre I had a movie moment occur before my eyes. As I walked along the crowded streets of the city, I swear to you that every single person was walked hand-in-hand with a significant other. Hugging, kissing, holding hands.......hang on, i've gotta hurl.........


(unpleasant noises)



Back.
Seriously though, didn't these people get the memo? Spring is for lovers. Right now it's summer! And it's really, really, really HOT. Being that close to someone has to have some profound effect on a person's well-being due to body heat or proximity effect or reverse osmosis. It's just not healthy.

So the moral of the story is that there are 8,000,001 people in New York, and there are 4 million couples that go to the movies on thursday nights. Are you as bad at math as me?