Ever feel like you've been progressing in a certain direction for the longest time, even proud of the distances you've covered, only to notice a small landmark or sign that proves you are merely right back where you began? Running in circles seems to be what I was cut out to do.
I ran track in high school....and that is simply an ellipses. I've circled around a few cities before landing in Nashville. And would I be posting this if I hadn't been "circled" by girls over the recent past?
It was almost exactly a year ago (give or take a day for Leap Year...I think), that I perceived my world was turned completely over and all life essences drained out. Sometimes, I still don't think I have any clue what the hell happened to me. Life seemed quite good at the time, and then....POW! No more. Who knows?
I did learn some important lessons over the months after "The Ordeal". My friends and family are invaluable. Absolutely all of them. There wasn't a single person's concern for my mental and emotional well-being that went unnoticed. I leaned very hard on a select few and they stood square with shoulders of solid steel. If I haven't gotten around to thanking you personally and profusely, then "Thank You!" Not that anyone is reading this (which makes it the perfect place to say such things without getting all sappy).
So a year has passed. I am nearly older, not much wiser and still I feel as though I am back where I started that whole process. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl has questionable feelings for boy and splits at the very mention of certain words. When I'm happy, it's as though I emit a particularly foul odor and it is a signal for all interested parties to evacuate my immediate area, as not to allow my head to settle into a pattern of enjoyment. And all I have to show for it is a furrowed brow, a frown and a bunch of run-on sentences.
Nobody likes "Mopey Chris". I don't like "Mopey Chris". It is, however, hard to rid myself of that personality trait when I am oblivious to what it is that I have/had done. And harder still when whiskey is involved. Those of you (who still aren't reading this) that have experienced this distinct mood swing know full well of what I type. And for that, as well, I am sorry.
All of this was much more pointed and planned out when I thought of posting this morning. A whole day's worth of nonsense and self-pity tend to jumble my creative wires pretty good.
Anyway....all of this rambling to point out I've chased another one off. I really like her. She doesn't feel that way any more. So if any of you, at a point in the more immediate future, wonder to yourselves [or even aloud]: "Hey. Where is that Chris guy we hang out with every once in a while?" I am at home. You are welcome to come over. I guarantee I will not be great company. But I will appreciate the spontaneous nature of your visit.
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